if only for you, pika(http://lifebeforesunset.bravejournal.com)!

i just read this pika blog entry about quarterlife crisis and as much as i hate to admit it, i can relate. and yes, to every single thing in there.

sweet quarterlife, indeed. its the time of our lives when we get so emotional about everything. mine is no ordinary confusion. i dont know if its just some episodal crisis or im just bound to live my whole life in a perpetually confused state. im decisive, though, and i can decide without even thinking. so most of the time it confuses everyone else around me too.

my job is taking its toll on my social life. the only thing that's making me stay is my willpower and sheer determination to break my proud record of holding a job for a year before getting totally burned out. now ive stayed for more than a year only because i hate to be financially dependent. its not that i couldnt get along with anyone, or couldnt handle responsibilities, in fact, ive been commended for my performance from my previous jobs!

Then what is it ? Let's just call it  my big ancient problem of wanting to do something different all the time. i just feel so restless when i get boxed in.  If i wake up and i can exactly picture myself doing specific things from 8-5, then i know id rather stay in bed and whisk my soul to timbuktu. I need anticipation, the excitement of the unknown, the great divide-- in every single freakin day of my life to stay sane. and  If i get stuck in a routine i lose my focus. i lose my  energy. i lose pro-active enzymes in my system.  i lose my mind!

oh, and men indeed are from mars...and women.. from an asylum. maybe its just time for me sit back and watch men drift by in their gossamer choco fillings and rope out someone with enough elemental substance to make me wanna read tolstoy all over again.

then again, maybe all i need is a raspberry crepe.